To Kill A Mocking Bird
by chickatita
Summary: Maybe he was bitter about being separated from his cat but Ryoma just didn’t understand the hype.  So it was a bird.  So it made noise.  So what?  That night he went to bed deciding he would never understand the mind of a female.


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Prince of Tennis/ Tennis no Ohjisama or Harper Lee's 'To Kill a Mockingbird'

**To Kill a Mocking Bird**

"Sakuno…"

A loud bang rattled the house and made the neighborhood tremble. Ryoma lowered the gun to look at his handy work.

Shit, he missed again.

He watched as the damn bird flew from the tree tops and over to the next tree.

"Sakuno…" Its low moaning call echoed throughout the yard, up to the bell tower and the tennis court. This just hardened his resolve to kill the traitor of a bird. He had to hurry and do this before the damn thing flew out of his yard.

--

When Nanako asked him to take care of the bird he thought of it as an inconvenience if anything. But as Nanako said; if anyone else were to take care of it, they would be in his room 24/7. He, of course, was the 'lucky' guy who had his window open when a bird decided to make a nest; even if his father was the idiot who touched the nest. Thus getting his nasty stench all over the poor, defenseless egg; scaring off the mother, and forcing her to reject the nest.

Well, in the end he lost the battle against Nanako and her raging motherly hormones and was forced to kick Karupin out of his bedroom and keep the egg-turned-baby-bird in it instead. He never really liked the bird; it separated him from his beloved cat and kept him up at odd hours of the night with its eating habits. It required lots of attention; too much indeed. He began to really appreciate the fact that Karupin practically took care of himself. The only benefit to caring for the little annoyance was that it attracted attention from the only person who he wanted it from; Sakuno.

When he casually mentioned his little roommate at school; she, on her part, had boldly demanded that she be allowed to see. He of course agreed. He didn't expect Osakada to come along too, but he supposed it was all he could hope for as someone as shy as Sakuno. So they arranged for a visit after school on Friday.

--

"Sakuno…" He cocked and reloaded his BB gun before quickly taking aim and firing once again. He missed his target but was apparently close enough to scare it because as soon as the gun sounded the bird took off in frantic flight away from his house and toward the school; just what he was afraid of. He shot down the sidewalk; his father's BB gun hanging from a strap on his shoulder.

He should have known the bird would be trouble from the minute it first made a noise.

--

So he took care of it whenever he was home; his father watching it while he was at school, partial punishment for touching the nest in the first place. The bird, thankfully, grew up fast enough. It was feeding itself and even attempting to fly in no time. The thing he didn't enjoy about it growing up was that as a mocking bird it learned to imitate a variety of loud and annoying calls. Alarm clock, dog barking, baby crying, other loud birds; you name an annoying noise, this bird could replicate it. If he had to pick his least favorite it would be the car alarm, which his little house companion delighted in practicing at the ungodly hour of three in the morning.

Strangely enough Sakuno and Osakada loved the little winged vermin. They seemed to think of his irritating impressions as a parlor trick rather than an annoyance. They gasped when he copied a cell phone ring tone, giggled when he performed a serenade of his father's snoring, and squealed in delight when he imitated Karupin's mewling purr (which they could have heard just as easily from Karupin himself).

"What is its name?" They had eagerly questioned. He had replied that it didn't have one; why should it, it wasn't a pet.

"He should have a name; otherwise how can he distinguish himself from your father or even Karupin?" She argued. He answered that it was very easy for it to distinguish itself from a furry creature that would possibly catch and eat it for a snack. She had frowned at the comeback and responded by naming him herself.

"Beethoven" She had exclaimed excitedly "Because he's a little musical genius." Tomoka had agreed immediately but Ryoma was harder to convince. Genius? That wasn't genius it was noise.

After much debate she had given up on trying to convince him, but that didn't stop her, Osakada and later Nanako and even his mother from calling it Beethoven.

Maybe he was bitter about being separated from his cat; but Ryoma just didn't understand the hype. So it was a bird. So it made noise. So what? That night he went to bed deciding he would never understand the mind of female.

Just because he would never understand girls, doesn't mean he wouldn't dream about them.

This certainly wasn't the first time he dreamt of Sakuno, but it was the first time somebody that could squeal was listening to him.

It was in the middle of a particularly steamy vision involving a pool filled with Ponta and Sakuno in a bikini when he happened vocally express his satisfaction. This part of his dream must have extended to his conscious body; because that morning he woke up to the sound of his own voice moaning Sakuno's name. He had looked around the room in alarm to find that the noise had come from none other than the recently benighted Beethoven. Needless to say he was horrified; if his father heard such a call he could never stand to be in his presence again. Or worse, if Tomoka or Sakuno heard it…ugh he didn't even want to think about it.

Drastic action needed to be taken.

He dressed and hurried down to the garage to get the rat poison. He could make it look like an accident or even better; frame his father. Once he retrieved the pest killer he ran back up to his bedroom. He arrived just in time to see his father releasing Beethoven out of the window.

"Ah! What the hell are you doing?!" He had bellowed and then run at the window to snatch hopelessly at the empty space where the bird previously hovered. Nanjiro was very surprised at his son's actions; he thought he'd want Beethoven out of his room as soon as possible.

"Well he can fly pretty well now and get his own food; so I thought I'd relieve you of the burden. You've been complaining about him for days now." Nanjiro failed to mention that the bird caught him talking on one of those pleasure phone calls using slightly inappropriate language so he thought he better remove the bird from the premises before his wife heard.

Ryoma was going to yell at his father, I mean really bitch him out. But with a strange clarity of mind, he decided that harsh words wouldn't solve anything; action would.

"Hey oyaji, where's the old BB gun?"

--

So that was pretty much how he got here; running down the sidewalk after a stupid bird that couldn't keep its mouth shut.

He kept his eyes trained on the bird as he ran; this caused him to trip several times and almost run into a mail box, but it paid off as he saw exactly where the bird finally landed. In was on top of a lamp post surrounding the street tennis courts. Filled with triumph at keeping up with the bird he ran up the stairs that lead to the courts. As soon as he reached the top he was dismayed to find that the courts were currently occupied by a few choice Seigaku regulars. Oishi and Eiji were playing doubles with Kaido and Momo; just his luck.

Eiji, with his keen eyesight, immediately spotted Ryoma and eagerly drew attention to him.

"Hoi hoi, Lookie over there Oishi; it's Ochibi, Nya!" Of course everybody immediately directed their interest toward their fellow regular.

"Ah, Ryoma come here to join us? We can sub you in; after all, Mamushi here is cramping my style." Kaido looked irritated as always and just stood there making his hissing noise.

"What's wrong?" Oishi asked "You look flushed; are you sick?" He persisted with maternal concern, he wasn't listening though. His eyes darted up to the lamp post where Beethoven sat resting. He had one chance while the bird was still off guard…

"Sakuno…" Damn!

"Huh? What was that noise, nya? It sounded like Ochibi, but he's over there, nya. Are there ghosts among us nya?!" Eiji questioned looking around worriedly.

"It came from behind us." Oishi said.

"I heard Sakuno's name. Are you some sort of ventriloquist, Runt?" Momo said with a smirk, but still looking a bit worried.

"Fshhh…Why do you have a gun…?" Kaido's quiet observation was not ignored. The regular's eyes were all suddenly directed to the object dangling from a strap that rested on Ryoma's shoulder.

"HOLY CRAP HE'S GOT A GUN!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!" Momo yelled shattering the silence.

"NYA, I'M SORRY! I'LL NEVER MAKE YOU PAY FOR BURGERS AGAIN, NYA! JUST DON'T SHOOT!!" Eiji yelled coming to a conclusion as to why their pissed prince had a gun.

"Shut up. You're ruining everything." Ryoma tried to calm them down before the noise scared his target.

"FSHH!!" Kaido's panicked hiss followed.

"Suicide is not the answer Ryoma! We can help; don't use a permanent solution for a temporary problem!" Oishi cried; coming to his own conclusion.

Seeing that the bird was getting frightened with all the yelling he whipped out the gun and pointed it toward his teammates in a hurry.

"Quiet," he whispered hastily "Or I swear I'll-" he stopped mid-sentence as he saw Beethoven take flight.

He quickly pointed the gun at him and fired twice, but missed with his inexperience in rifle handling. Before he thought to try again, the bird flew out of range.

"Dammit! See what you did? I told you to shut up!" He yelled at them before taking off with a growl after the bird. After he left, the regulars all looked at each other, confusion clearly etched on their faces.

"What the heck was that about? He just charges here with a gun and then gets mad and runs away? We should warn people about his anger problems…"

"Maybe he's having troubles at home?" Oishi suggested.

"Fshhh…"

"I don't know nya. But I'm still not making him pay anymore; angry Ochibi is a scary Ochibi, nya!" Eiji concluded before they all started up their match again.

--

So here he was, chasing after this damn bird down the sidewalk once again. He personally couldn't see how his situation could get any worse at the moment. He watched as the bird flew a little more before turning toward the park and landing in a group of trees.

Ah, just got worse.

He trailed it toward a group or trees and found that it had chosen this place for a reason; there were millions of birds of all species and no way to tell who was who and which was which.

That is, unless they made noise.

With that in mind he thought up a plan. He didn't dare fire the gun that would make them all take off and he'd never find Beethoven. He just needed something for it to imitate. He thought of his own voice; the reason he was on this goose chase in the first place.

"Ryoma-kun, what are you doing? ...Why do you have a gun?" The quiet voice of Sakuno Ryuzaki broke him out of his thoughts.

Well there goes that idea; he would dare moan her name if she was right here. But then a new idea struck him.

"Ryuzaki, do you have your cell phone?"

"Um, yes, but you didn't answer my question…" She insisted.

"I'll explain after you help me out. Just get out your cell phone and play your ring tone." If he told her anything; it would not be the truth. This simply was not something she needed to know; and he did not intend to tell her.

"O-okay then." She said curiously and then started to dig through her medium sized purse. She was dressed in relaxed clothes; a T-shirt and a pair of sweat pants. He assumed she was doing errands; he had run into her on a few weekends previous while she cut through the park on her way to the market.

"Here it is Ryoma-kun…You want me to play the ring tone?" She asked awkwardly slightly worried about being the butt of a practical joke.

"Yeah, and turn the volume up all the way." She did as she was told and the cover to 'Snow (Hey Oh)' By the Red Hot Chili Peppers started to playing; a simple cell phone midi version.

There were a few seconds where nothing happened and he doubted his theory. Then just as he was about to give up hope and just start shooting; he heard her ring tone echo high above them in the tree they stood right under. He immediately pinpointed his target and saw Beethoven attempting to blend in with his surrounding fellow birds. But it was too late he had already given himself away. He brought up the gun and started to carefully aim; he couldn't miss this time, he was decently sure this was his last chance. One shot will scare them all into flight; he had to make a hit before that happened.

He was just about to pull the trigger when suddenly the barrel of the gun was yanked down toward the ground. He yelped and released the trigger at once for fear of shooting himself in the foot. He turned to glare at the culprit to see an angry looking Sakuno.

"What'd you do that for? You want me to shoot myself?" He snapped, though secretly thinking that she looked cute when she was angry.

"As opposed to killing a poor innocent bird in a tree? Yes, I think I would have preferred that very much." She replied cheekily.

"This is not an innocent bird. He knows too much; he must be disposed of." He said childishly, wanting to get his way at all costs.

"How do you know that it's a 'he'...wait, don't tell me that that's Beethoven? You were gonna shoot Beethoven!? But you raised him; how could you do such a heartless thing?!" She asked looking betrayed and outraged.

Now Ryoma was getting agitated; it's not like he could tell her why. And because he had no reason she was getting mad at him. He stepped toward Sakuno to put a hand on her shoulder and comfort her (hey, it was all he could thing of). Unfortunately for him, he tripped over his gun and ended up pinning her to the trunk of the tree instead.

They both stiffened from the physical contact. But Ryoma couldn't seem to move; he was entranced by the feminine form pressed against his tennis-trained body. Sakuno turned beet-red and looked about ready to faint. She could barely manage a quiet "Ryoma-kun".

At the sound of his name he threw caution to the wind and kissed her. She became rigid as a board before she thankfully relaxed. Then to his amazement she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed back with almost practiced ease.

He'd have to talk to her later about her kissing experience. But for now he was enjoying himself too much.

They parted for air, but Ryoma couldn't get enough of her strawberry sent (which reminded him of his dream) and the way his lips felt against her soft skin. He continued to kiss and suck her neck. He gave it gentle nip and she gasped and whimpered his name.

"Ah, Ryoma!"

He smirked against her neck and continued his ministrations.

"Ah, Ryoma!" He froze and looked as if he'd been slapped in the face.

He pulled away from Sakuno to look her in the eyes with a dreading feeling rising in his gut.

"That wasn't you, was it?" He asked her in a hopeful way.

"No." She said looking just as worried as he felt. They both slowly turned their gaze upward to stare directly into the mischievous face of Beethoven.

"Ah, Ryoma!" He repeated mockingly.

Sakuno covered her mouth with her hands in rising panic. "Oh no; Ryoma-kun, what should we do?" She asked, quickly losing her calm demeanor.

He quietly bent and picked up his gun.

"That's it, you rat with wings. You could have flown away when you had the chance, but no; you had to stay and piss me off." This time Sakuno had no objections.

The bird just tipped his head to one side and said "Sakuno…"

His eyes widened and he allowed himself a quick glance at Sakuno. She had turned pink at recognition of the initial situation and gave him an apologetic sort of grimace.

"Sorry Ryoma-kun, uh if you want…I won't stop you…" That was all the permission he needed.

"YOU'RE GONNA DIE, BIRD!!" And he chased after the fleeing mocking bird down the sidewalk once again.

--

**Epilogue:**

That Monday after school was the best day he could remember for a long time. After tennis practice where everyone treated with proper respect for once. The regulars all took him out for burgers and milk shakes; all he could eat. Afterwards as if his day couldn't get good enough; Sakuno came over for English tutoring. After a bit of studying he decided that their mouths should be reacquainted and Sakuno agreed whole heartedly.

He wasn't exactly sure why his day was so good, but he guessed it all had to do with a little annoying bird named Beethoven.

**The End**

A/n: Heh, how'd you like it? It's just a silly one-shot I know, but I need these to channel my ideas or it all gets blown up into one nonsensical endless story.

It came to me while I was throwing rocks at the neighborhood mocking bird… he imitates car alarms and everything too. He hasn't imitated a human voice yet (it has imitated the sound of my sick cat and tormented me many times) but I really wouldn't be surprised if he did one of these days.

Hehe, Nanjiro was having phone sex! By the way sorry if you thought that my kiss scene was weak; eh I just get so embarrased. You should see me; my face goes all red and I can barely look anybody in the face.

Well, tell me what you think, and if you haven't already; check out my other story "April's Fools" that's almost done. I'm working on the last chapter.

Sorry if you're part of the mockingbird protection agency or something, no matter how annoying or reputation-threatening a bird was I wouldn't kill him. I'd probably capture him and teach him not to say what I didn't want him too; but not kill him. Don't worry I'm not that type of person.

No Mockingbirds were harmed in the making of this fanfic.


End file.
